Wednesday, May 03, 2006

My Big Fat Pile of Money



That's right. I'm loaded. Rich. Packing my bags and off to Burmunda to live in the fashion MD and I could very easily become accustomed to.

Well...maybe not.

The Barracuda called me into her office today....with a sharp tone I assumed was the beging of my "firing file" or a strict talking to about team spirit and neggative body language. (I think a fist in someone's face would be neggative, but aparently my crossed legs and tense arms offend people). Instead, she began with her painful, uncomfortable laughter, the kind no one joins her in, and told me how this is a non-profit and salary caps are at 4% (cheap for a nonprofit) and our fisical year had ended. I had thought we were headed to the we can't affoard to pay you would you work for free, portion when the barracuda told me my work was good, but I needed to show "more enthusiasm" in my work. Be more of a team player. Pitch in more, take on other tasks and be happy about it. She then gave me a 2% raise. 2%. I could smell the money in the air.

I went back to my little cube by the typewriter, printer, carbon printer, fax machine and shreder to work out the math.

2% of my salary is about 560 a year. 560 broken down into 12 months is about $47.00. Divide that into bi weekly paychecks and you have about...$10 extra dollars a check. I could almost buy myself dinner once a week on that. I guess MD gets leftovers....of course after taxes.....

It makes you wonder if that 2% is supposed to be my carrot to work with more "enthusiasm" I mean really, who gives a rat's ass if I'm smiling while I work....do they really need that to feel good about thier jobs?

I digress. Lady Charion (Synge's lady, who I am now seeing) tells me that I can break this cycle by treating these people diffrently. Perhaps looking at them with a little more compasion and realizing its all a game, and no one really likes to play it. She ended our session by asking me if I was getting out of this job soon. MD has suggested I take a 2 week paid vacation (which I have) and then coming back in time to quit. I'm contemplating the suggestion.

On the home front:


MD and I are no longer moving to a new apartment. We decided that in the long run, we could affoard a bigger place in a nicer area if we saved some money and really did our homework on places. He feels that "consolidating" is the way to go.

By consolidating he means apartments. Mainly his. That's right....MD is in the process of moving into my little shack in the middle of the Brooklyn Ghetto. At the moment my living room is more like a bedroom and the kichen is more like a closet. As exciting as this is, its still a bit nerve racking and crazy. MD hasn't been able to take time off to do this, so the moving in process has been in aggonizingly slow stages. My apartment looks like a clothing bomb went off.

I complain, but I love coming home to MD everynight. Its the best feeling.

In Other News....


My "parents" are coming to town.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MD is really relaxed about it. He's not Ben Stiller and my dad isn't insain...although he is an ex Navy Seal...and the other half of him is coming, the woman he's close friends with and may or may not be his girlfriend of sorts (its too complex to blog about) I'm still sweating bullets over it.

I want him to love MD. Instantly. I want the immediate stamp of approval, which is complicated because I feel like I don't need it and fuck him if he doesn't like MD. That's the complicated parent/child relationship which is even more complicated because I don't relate to my dad like a kid...we've been "pals" for a very long time and function like peers. I had a bizzare childhood, we'll leave it at that. Lady Charion is still sorting through the mess.

I have a week to show the two of them NYC, Brooklyn, MD, and why I love all of these things. I know that my dad and lady friend will love the things I love and be very laid back, because they are. My dad helped me move the the Upper East Side and always saw the good in any situation. But my life is a lot diffrent now and is going in a direction that doesn't involve him as much. I'm building my own life and family and I feel like the old man feels a bit left out....that's why the lady friend is coming.

(For the sake of typing time, we'll call the folks the Guru and Princess)

I don't know why I'm so bent out of shape about the Guru and Princess's arrival. In the end they are too laid back for it to be drama, and I'm the one creating drama. Could be a classic case of world's colliding. My entire life is in transition and the two of them are dropping in with a ton of luguage (Princess doesn't travel light), a map of NYC and list of destinations (Ground 0, the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty...)

Lets hope I survive the week.

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